Harley and Ivy: Wolves
by Jake7901
Summary: Poison Ivy is working in her greenhouse one full moon night, when strange creatures begin approaching. She calls Harley Quinn to help her. They learn the creatures are werewolves. Can Harley and Ivy fight off the pack of hungry beasts? Or will they have fur and fangs by morning? Please read and review
1. Chapter 1

All characters are owned by DC comics

Poison Ivy had always know that living on the very outskirts of Gotham with forests bordering two sides of her property meant strange animals would come onto her property. She could handle the smaller animals, no problem. The bigger animals, well that was her plants' or Harley's job. Ivy was working in her greenhouse one night. It was a full moon, which meant there was enough light to work without having to turn on the lights. She heard a noise outside and saw a large animal walking around. It came close to the glass and snarled, allowing Ivy to see its teeth.

"Obviously a carnivore" Ivy said to herself.

She commanded vines to come out of the ground and immobilize the animal. As the vines began to ensnare it, it began tearing them apart with its teeth and claws. The animal slammed its paw against the glass wall and drug its claws down the glass.

"That almost looks like…a hand" Ivy thought.

It was only twenty feet from the greenhouse door to the back door of the house. She walked towards the door. The creature followed her on the outside, staying even with her. Ivy quickly made sure the door was locked and pulled out her cellphone. She pushed number one on speed dial and put the phone to her ear.

"Come on" Ivy whispered as the phone rang.

"Hello?" a tired Harley Quinn said.

"Harl I need you outside, now!" Ivy said.

Harley could tell by Ivy's voice that something was wrong.

"What's goin' on?" Harley asked.

"There's some kind of animal out here" Ivy said "it's big and it has large teeth and claws. It's trying to get in the greenhouse. It ripped my vines apart."

"I'll be right there" Harley said "stay inside."

Ivy hung up and grabbed a shovel. A minute later, the back door opened. Ivy saw Harley walk out with a sawed off double barrel shotgun and a flashlight. She walked towards the greenhouse and gasped when she saw the animal.

"What the hell is that?" She said under her breath "some kinda wolf or something?"

The animal hit the side of the greenhouse again, obviously trying to break the glass. Harley saw the fear in Ivy's eyes, causing her own to become filled with anger.

Harley threw the flashlight at the animal and yelled "HEY! OVER HERE!"

The animal looked at her, snarled and showed its teeth as it approached her. Harley raised the shotgun and fired. The animal took another unsteady step, then fell. It got back up and stood up on two legs.

"The hell?!" Harley yelled.

The animal began approaching her. Harley raised the shotgun and waited until it was only a few feet away and fired again. The animal was thrown back by the blast. Harley lowered the shotgun and smiled at Ivy. The animal started to get up again. Harley quickly opened the barrels on the shotgun and dumped out the empty shells.

"Red! Get inside!" Harley yelled as she put two fresh shells in the shotgun and closed it.

Ivy ran to the house as the animal stood up again. Harley fired again, knocking it back down and followed Ivy into the house. Ivy shut and locked the door as soon as Harley made it inside.

"What the hell is that thing?!" Ivy asked.

"I don't know" Harley said "unless…do we have any silvah?"

"You can't be serious" Ivy said.

"Red, ya saw it take three shotgun blasts and get up" Harley said "I know how it sounds, but if it gets rid a' that thing I'll try it."

"The cabinet in the corner of the kitchen" Ivy said "there are sterling silver forks and knives in it."

Harley ran to the cabinet and grabbed a silver fork. She took a pair of wire cutters out of the kitchen junk drawer and began to cut up the prongs of the fork into small pieces. They heard the animal beating on the door.

"Hurry!" Ivy said.

Harley opened the shotgun's barrels and pulled out the unused shell. She pulled the top of the shell open and dumped out the buckshot. She put the cut up pieces of the fork in the shell and closed the top back up. She put the shell back in the shotgun and closed it.

She walked over and pointed the shotgun at the door and said "open it."

"What if this doesn't work?" Ivy asked.

"Then run like hell" Harley said "one, two, three!"

Ivy pulled the door open and moved to the side. The animal took a step inside before Harley fired. The force of the blast threw it back outside. The animal whimpered and twitched for a few seconds before laying completely still. Harley grabbed the meat cleaver off the counter and slowly approached it. She poked it a few times, then knelt down and put her ear to its chest.

She stood up and said "it's dead."

Ivy hugged her and said "great job, and thanks."

"You're welcome" Harley said.

Suddenly they heard several wolf like howls in the distance.

"Lock the door" Harley said "we gotta get ready."

Ivy shut the door and locked it.

"Got any wolfsbane?" Harley asked.

"You mean aconitum?" Ivy asked.

"Yeah, whatevah" Harley said "got any?"

"I have some in the greenhouse" Ivy said.

"Well, I guess we gotta go back and get it" Harley said.

"What?!" Ivy asked "you want to go back out there with those...things?!"

"No" Harley said "I don't wanna go out there, but we need the wolfsbane. It's now or nevah. Once those things get here, there's no way to get to it. I'll make a few more silvah shells and we'll do it quick. I won't let those things getcha, I promise."

"Ok" Ivy said "I trust you."

Harley quickly cut up the rest of the fork and managed to make three more shells. She loaded the shotgun and said "let's go." She opened the door and stepped outside and looked around.

"Ok, come on" Harley said "stay close."

Harley began running to the greenhouse with Ivy. Once they got inside, Ivy went to the back corner and began grabbing plants. Harley saw another werewolf stalking towards them.

"Time to go!" Harley said "now!"

Ivy began running towards the door with her arms full of plants.

"Go! Go! Go!" Harley said.

Ivy ran to the house Harley was close behind, keeping the shotgun pointed at the approaching animal. She waited just outside the door as the werewolf approached. When it was close enough, she fired both barrels. The animal staggered forward another few steps, then fell. Harley shut the door and locked it, then wedged a chair under the doorknob.

"Can ya make that into a liquid form?" Harley asked.

"Yes" Ivy said.

"Awesome" Harley said "go ahead and get started, I've gotta go get a few things. I might haveta use the rest of the silvah forks and knives."

"If it keeps us alive, I'll make the sacrifice" Ivy said "we stole them anyway."

Harley went to her room and came back with two .45 revolvers, a pump shotgun and several boxes of shotgun shells and hollow point bullets for the .45s and two belts. Harley gathered the rest of the silver forks and began to cut them up. She emptied the buckshot out of the shotgun shells and began to fill them with the pieces of silver forks. Once Ivy had created a liquid version of the wolfsbane. Harley set out several hollow point bullets and grabbed an eyedropper. She used the eyedropper to fill the holes in the top of the bullets with the liquid wolfsbane. She got a candle and carefully dripped hot wax on the top of the bullet to seal the wolfsbane inside.

"What's the point of the wax?" Ivy asked.

"It holds the wolfsbane in the bullet" Harley said "when it hits the animal, the wax seal will break and the wolfsbane'll leak into their bodies. Which should, hopefully, kill 'em."

Harley loaded five silver filled shells into the pump shotgun, pumped it and put a sixth one in. She handed it to Ivy with a belt that had shells all the way around it. She loaded both revolvers with the wolfsbane filled hollow points and put on a belt with the wolfsbane bullets all around it.

She stood next to Ivy with a revolver in each hand and asked "ya ready for this?"

"No" Ivy said "are you?"

"Nope" Harley said "we'll get through it through it though. We just gotta stick togethah."

"Right" Ivy said.


	2. Chapter 2

All characters are owned by DC comics

The kitchen window suddenly shattered and a werewolf stuck its head inside. Ivy gasped and took a step back. Harley raised both revolvers and shot it through both eyes at once. The animal immediately went limp and fell back outside.

Harley turned to Ivy and asked "ya ok?"

"Yes" Ivy said "I'm just not used to this."

"Neithah am I" Harley said "werewolves are new to me too."

"Not just the werewolves" Ivy said "my plants can usually get me out of any situation, but these…things are ripping them apart. I have to rely on your guns, and I don't like it."

"It's ok Red" Harley said "that shotgun has the firepower and spread pattern to get the job done. Just point it at their chest and pull the trigger, pump between each shot and keep it tight to your shoulder. You'll do fine, I know you will. Remember, they killed your plants. Avenge 'em Red."

"Yeah" Ivy said.

"I'll be by your side" Harley said smiling "anybody or any _thing_ that messes with Poison Ivy or her plants, has to deal with Harley Quinn" she spun both revolvers around her fingers "and Smith and Wesson."

Ivy smiled and said "thanks Harl."

Another werewolf began climbing through the window.

"Take it out Red" Harley said.

Ivy raised the shotgun to her shoulder and pulled the trigger. She took a step back from the kick of the gun. The werewolf was thrown back out the window from the force of the shotgun blast.

"Pump it" Harley said.

Ivy pumped the shotgun.

"Nice job" Harley said "see, it ain't hard."

The back door swung open with a loud cracking noise as the chair Harley wedged under the knob flew across the room. Two werewolves stalked into the kitchen. Harley raised both revolvers and began firing. Ivy stepped up next to her and fired the shotgun at one of the wolves, killing it. The other fell as Harley lowered her revolvers, she smiled at Ivy and said "nice shootin' Red."

She opened the chambers on one of the revolvers and dumped the empty shells. She began reloading it, when Ivy took a step towards her.

"Harley" Ivy said "look at me."

Harley stopped loading the revolver and looked at her.

"Listen Harl" Ivy said "I know I always tell you to keep calm and keep your insanity in check. You're always going to be crazy, but I know you suppress the worst of it, for me, because I ask you to. I want you to forget about all of that. Let the insanity out, give it every ounce of crazy you've got."

"Ya sure Red?" Harley asked "it took a lot of practice and patience to build up those mental barriers, if I let 'em down it might take a while to build 'em back up."

"That's ok" Ivy said "we'll work on it together if you can't take control again. But, nothing about this night has made sense, maybe what we need is some nonsense."

"Ok" Harley said.

She closed her eyes, shook her head and took a deep breath. Her eyes shot open wide. Her pupils shrunk as an unnatural grin spread across her face.

"Guys! Ya're back!" She said.

"Who?" Ivy asked.

"The fish" Harley said "can't ya see 'em they swim around and sing to me and talk to me. Everybody else pretends they can't see 'em." She looked straight forward at nothing and said "Moe, Curly, Shemp it's great to see ya. Where's Larry…really?..aw, I liked Larry…yeah, hey remember the time he-"

"Harl" Ivy interrupted "what do they think you should do about the werewolves?"

"That's Red" Harley said "come on, ya know Red…yeah….the plant lady, anyway there are all these doggie people in our house that want to eat us. What do ya think we should do?..uh-huh…yeah…Oh, I like that idea…no, I don't think they want dog biscuits Shemp…I like Moe's idea…yeah." She looked at Ivy and said "they said I should just pat them on the head."

"I don't know if that's a good idea" Ivy said.

Harley skipped to the broom closet, opened the door and pulled out a twenty pound sledge hammer and said "with this."

"Why is there a sledge hammer in the broom closet?" Ivy asked.

"For those tough, ground in stains" Harley said "I'll be back in a few minutes, there's some wascally werewolves out there that need a beatin'."

She started skipping to the door.

"Harl wait, you can't go out there" Ivy said.

"Don't worry Red" Harley said "the fish got their guns."

She skipped to the broken door, turned and waved at Ivy and walked out. One of the wolves charged her. She smacked it on the head with the hammer, its head turned completely sideways with a sickening crack. It stayed standing for a second, before falling. Another lunged forward and tried to bite her. Harley jumped back as the jaws snapped shut just in front of her nose.

"NO BITING!" Harley yelled "BAD DOG!"

The wolf tried to bite her again, Harley dodged it again and said "fine! Let's see how YOU like it!"

Harley Jumped forward and bit the werewolf at the base of its neck. The werewolf howled in pain and shoved her off.

Harley stumbled back a few steps, spit out a clump of bloody fur and said "it don't feel good, does it?!"

She hit it in the knee with the hammer. The animal fell as its leg ones snapped. Harley raised the hammer above her head and brought it down on the werewolves head, killing it. Ivy had reloaded the shotgun and ran out to Harley's side.

"Welcome to the party" Harley said smiling "ready to smash some skulls?"

"I don't have a choice" Ivy said.

"Well, let's get to it then" Harley said as she charged another werewolf.


	3. Chapter 3

All characters are owned by DC comics

As they fought, Harley began to sing "who's a werewolf hunter, the best there's ever been? H-A-R-L-E-Y-Q-U-I-N-N. Harley Quinn! Ivy too. Harley Quinn! Ivy too."

She hit a werewolf in the back of the knee with her hammer, causing it to fall. She raised the hammer and brought it down on the werewolf's chest with a loud crack. Ivy was blasting the shotgun at any of them that came near her.

"How many of these things are there?" Ivy asked.

"I dunno" Harley said "we've already killed eleven and they just keep comin'. Maybe they hunt in packs, y'know like actual wolves."

Another werewolf charged Ivy, she raised the shotgun and pulled the trigger. There was a click, Ivy quickly pumped the shotgun and pulled the trigger again. There was another click. Ivy began backing up as the animal charged her. Suddenly the werewolf looked towards Harley and jumped back, barely avoiding the sledge hammer flying towards it. Ivy turned and saw Harley running towards her. Harley tackled the wolf and tried to pin it down. The animal shoved Harley off and pounced on top of her. It pinned her arms down with its hands and snarled in her face as drool dripped down.

"Evah heard a' Tic Tacs?" Harley asked.

She tried to head butt it, but it lifted its head out of her reach. The werewolf opened its jaws and moved its mouth towards Harley's throat.

"I hope ya choke" Harley said glaring at the wolf.

Suddenly a thick, thorn covered vine encircled the werewolf's snout. It forced its mouth shut and held it closed. Another vine wrapped around the wolf's throat and began to tighten. The vine lifted the wolf up and slammed it into the ground head first, breaking its neck. Harley stood up and saw rage in Ivy's eyes.

"Red?" Harley said.

"Are you ok?" Ivy asked.

"Yeah" Harley said as she stood up.

A vine picked up the shotgun and shell belt and held them out towards Harley.

Harley put the belt over her shoulder, loaded the shotgun and said "thanks Red."

She pumped the shotgun as several thick vines rose out of the ground.

"Let's finish this" Ivy said.

"Right behind ya" Harley said.

Fifteen minutes later, Harley and Ivy slowly walked into the house. They were both covered in werewolf blood and had several cuts and bruises. Harley walked over to the couch, collapsed backwards onto it and set the shotgun on the floor.

Ivy walked over and said "you're getting blood on the…oh screw it."

She flopped down on the couch next to her. Harley picked up the phone and dialed a number and waited.

"Hello?" a tired and irritated Selina Kyle said.

"Hey Kitty, it's Harley" Harley said.

"It's three thirty in the morning" Selina said "what do you want?!"

"Ya can get in touch with B man, right?" Harley asked.

"You woke me up for Batman's phone number?!" Selina asked.

"We need him to come to our house" Harley said "ya can come too, after the night we've had I don't care who ya two bring."

"What happened?" Selina asked annoyed "you get attacked by zombies?"

"Werewolves actually" Harley said "we got a yard full a' bodies if ya don't believe me."

"Fine" Selina said "I'll get him and we'll come look. If we don't find anything, you're going to learn what it feels like to be a scratching post for a cat with diamond tipped claws."

"Yeah, see ya in a little bit, Kitty" Harley said.

She hung up the phone and sighed.

"How's the insanity suppression?" Ivy asked.

"I ain't gonna say I'm anywhere near sane, but the fish went away again" Harley said.

"So you're back to normal?" Ivy asked.

"Maybe a little crazier, but close" Harley said "I gotta ask ya somethin' though?"

"What?" Ivy asked.

"What made ya snap?" Harley asked.

"What do you mean?" Ivy asked.

"I mean all night ya were timid 'bout fightin' those things" Harley said "then I tackled that one that was comin' after ya and suddenly timid Red turned to killer Red."

Ivy smiled slightly and said "well I didn't like it when they attacked our home, I hated it when they destroyed my plants. But when they tried to kill the closest thing to family I've got, that was the last straw and I guess I decided that they all needed to die, consequences be damned."

"Wow, that means a lot Red" Harley said smiling "but ya got one thing wrong."

"What?" Ivy asked.

"I ain't the _closest thing_ to family ya got" Harley said "we _are_ family. Ya ain't just my bestest friend, ya're my sistah."

Ivy smiled and said "I feel the same way, Harl."

A few minutes later, the front door opened and Selina walked in, dressed as Catwoman, followed by Batman. They both gasped when they saw Harley and Ivy covered in blood.

"What happened?!" Selina asked.

"I toldja what happened" Harley said "don't wory, it ain't our blood. Well, most of it ain't. Follow me."

She stood up and motioned for the others to follow her.

Ivy slowly stood up and said "this way. There's three by the back door."

Harley and Ivy led them to the kitchen and showed them the bodies of the werewolves laying just outside the door.

"I don't believe it" Selina said.

Batman knelt down and began to examine one of the bodies.

"This is a remarkable discovery" he said "there are several scientist who need to study the remains."

"Great" Harley yawned "get 'em over here, tomorrow afternoon. It's been a helluva night."

"If you want to do it tomorrow, why did you wake me up at three thirty?!" Selina asked.

"'Cause in the movies, werewolves' bodies turn back to human bodies after they die" Harley said "if that happens, we wanted B man to see 'em while they're still wolves so we wouldn't get pinned with a murder charge."

"I'll take care of any police involvement" Batman said "you two will not be arrested or charged for this."

"Thanks" Ivy said "Selina, make sure he stays away from the plants and weapons, ok?"

"I'll keep him inline" Selina said.

"Good" Ivy said "now, Harl and I are going to bed."

"Night Kitty, Night B man" Harley said.

The next morning, there was a knock on the door. Harley sleepily stumbled to the door in nothing but a tee shirt and her underwear, her hair was a mess and she was grumbling under her breath.

She opened the door and said "what?"

A camera was stuck in her face.

"Harley Quinn! Please tell us what it was like to fight off werewolves!" A reporter said.

Harley glared at him and said "it's like a sleepless night and it's seven o'clock in the mornin'. Come back at noon."

"Very well" he said.

Harley pointed at the camera man and said "show that tape to anybody and I'll kill ya both with a rusty fork."

She held her hand out. The cameraman took the tape out of the camera and handed it to Harley. She took it and slammed the door and walked back to her room.

"Who was it?" Ivy asked tiredly.

"Reporters" Harley said "they said they'll be back at noon. Have your plants guard the property and go ahead and go back to sleep."

She walked into her room and closed the door.

"I'd rather deal with werewolves again instead of reporters" Ivy mumbled as she went back to bed.


End file.
